This year, the wife, kids and I are staying home and having a family dinner rather than going to the larger family get-together. Much of this is because of the recent family tragedy that has pretty much cancelled any festivities this year. Some of it is also due to the wonderful economy, and other factors that makes flying cross-country something to look forward to.

I’m sure there’s many out there that feel like making the trip to the traditional Thanksgiving get-together is about as enjoyable as having a vasectomy with a dull spoon. So, to make everyone feel better, I’ve assembled a list of reasons that you should stay home this year. Some are serious, and others,.. well, less-so.

The Top 10 Reasons to Stay Home

Airplane Ride from Hell – Even though fuel costs have dropped by over half from their highs only a few months ago, the airlines are still inflicting their passengers with the same cost-cutting measures as before (expensive or no food, long lines, etc). To add to this, the number of flights is down 12% from last year. That means MUCH more crowded flights. Hope you wanted to sit next to the bratty 6 year old.

Train Rides $$$ – As an alternate route, trains are having a comeback as the way to go. The only problem is that trains are having a comeback as the way to go. The law of supply and demand comes into play here. Amtrack has only so many rail cars, and they haven’t been stocking up on new ones in recent years. So if you want a ticket, be prepared to shell out the big bucks.

Lack of $$$ – With all the layoffs, downsizings, and other economic problems and issues, it’s just plain beyond some family’s means to travel this year. It’s just how things are, so might as well try to enjoy a nice quiet home Thanksgiving with close family and/or friends. Hopefully by this time next year, things will be looking up.

Not Having ‘The Discussion’ – You know about The Discussion. It’s when the parents ask you the Questions You Don’t Want To Answer. Typical questions are “So, when are you going to marry the guy you’ve been living with for the last 4 years?” or “Have you decided to give up that ‘music’ career thing and join the family furniture business yet?” It just gets worse from there. Missing out on the annual Spanish Inquisition might be a nice change.

Aunt Edna/Uncle Ben – Every family has some people like this. One or two people everyone wishes would disappear from the face of the earth so they don’t show up and embarass everyone. Even worse are the Aunts and Uncles that,.. aren’t. Not actually family, but have been around long enough to qualify. And to make things worse, they’re giving you that ‘come hither’ look that’s progressed FAR into the uncomfortable range.

Tofurky – Need I say more?

Sports Posers – Are you one of those guys that would rather be watching re-runs of Battlestar Galactica instead of sitting in front of the television pretending to feign interest in a bunch of guys beating up on each other over an inflated ovid of pig epidermis? Better to stay home and get your geek on with family members that have NO CHOICE but to hide your affliction.

Dishes, Lots of Dishes – I guess this is an issue for the women-folk, since to us guys, they seem to always be done by the time the game is over. If there were any left We’d be glad to help out, but since they’re done,…

Post Game Leftover Scuffle – Even though you’ve eaten enough to support a small Ethiopian tribe for a week, you’re still on the prowl for just a ‘little more pie’ after the big game. If you’re with the big family, there’s a lot of competition. Keeping it as a close-family get together eliminates a lot of that competition. (That and you can usually overpower the children without risking someone calling Child Services).

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade – Yes, you cry like a little baby because of the wonderful feelings these floating pieces of art bring out. You sit glued to the television, watching the likes of Bullwinkle, Spider-Man and UnderDog waft down the street, making you feel like a little kid again. Definitely NOT something to let your big brothers know about. It’s hard enough fending them off during the annual ‘wrestle-the-little-brother-during-footbal-halftime’ event. You’d NEVER hear the end of this one if they found out.

Happy Thanksgiving All!!