It’s that time of the year again. Birds are singing, kids are playing, and the great North American Lawn Obsessive leaves the cave for another spring of planting, watering, seeding, watering, cutting, trimming, planting (some more), watering (even more), and finally comparing the bounty of their work against other houses in the homeowners association, in search of the elusive ‘Lawn of the Month Award’.

The Obsessive has all the newest rakes and shovels and other implements of destruction available from the local Buy-More store, and is ready to use them in a non-ending battle to ‘green-up’ their neighbors.

I’ve run this race a few times, (admittedly half-heartedly, which is why my neighbors haven’t spoken to me in 10 years) and I’ve learned a few things along the way.

Cheap Broken Tools

Going down to the local Dollar store and buying up their tools is one recipe for disaster. It seems cost effective, but I’ve noticed two things that happen with cheap-o tools.

• They Get Lost – Because you paid a buck for the socket wrench, 13 piece set, and the thrown-in plastic drink cups, you don’t feel a lot of need to keep track of them. The "It’s only a buck" syndrome sets in. Lose it, and you don’t feel guilty about it. You spend less time taking care of the tools since they’re so cheap and (theoretically) easy to replace. This leads to having mismatched sets of tools, dozens of metric sockets, but no standard ones, mis-matched or sub-par wrenches, and screw-drivers that drive a divot through your palm with the stuck-up plastic that didn’t quite get finished off in that overseas plant. Heading back to the Dollar store every weekend gets to be a chore also.

• They Get Broken – The ole’ adage, "You get what you pay for" is in full-force for cheap tools. They might last you as long as an expensive one, but it’s doubtful. Cheap tools don’t really stand up to extreme usage like more expensive tools (e.g. when a socket wrench does double duty as a hammer, because you lost that cheap-o hammer somewhere). Tools that break, especially in the middle of a job, are both frustrating and time-wasting. When you get up the gumption to actually go out in the yard and DO SOMETHING, having a tool break can cause going-in-the-house-and-having-a-beer-itis to come up. Then nothing gets done.

Expensive Mechanical Accoutrements

Now, expensive tools often pay for themselves in a number of ways. Notably, you feel guilty leaving an expensive tool out in the rain, or not putting it away when you’re done, remembering the ludicrous price you paid for this little hunk of metal and plastic. Baby pictures get handled with less dignity than a truly expensive tool.

Also, with most big-store tools, a lifetime warranty is really nice to have. Mastercraft (Sears) just replaces the tool if you can bring it in broken, no questions asked. It actually makes financial sense, when you get the reputation of having unbreakable tools AND if that unbreakable tool actually breaks, that it gets replaced with ANOTHER unbreakable tool.

Finally, good tools just seem to last longer. Good tools are handed down from father to son in a show of respect and admiration. They help build buildings, houses, and entire civilizations. I doubt you’d find a self-respecting contractor with a Dollar General hammer or tape-measure hanging off their belts.

So when you go out, you Obsessive you, to prepare for your green battle, get the APPROPRIATE tool for the job. No gold plated thingey, but a high-quality, reasonably-expensive article of mechanical artistry that is the modern tool.

Besides, when you get the tool belt too, the wives think you look really HOT!