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I, Randall, am a Debtaholic. (Hi Randall!!)

I look back at my finances and I see a steady non-decreasing credit card usage record. From my first JCPenny's card right after entering the military, to the dozen or so cards sitting in my sock drawer. They're all there, haunting and tempting me.

I've come to the realization that I LIKE the convenience of swiping plastic rather than digging out paper. I like not worrying whether I have enough in the bank account before getting the capuccino, or filling up the gas tank. I like being able to time-shift my expenses.

I know, that makes me an Evil Person ® and I should turn in my PF bloggers badge.

I Wish I Knew How to Quit You

I've read about being debt-free, and worked at it, but the convenience of getting something now, and paying for it (and a little more) later is seductive. Why save up for that new television or computer, when by the time you get the money, they'll be obsolete. Wait to get the furniture? But the house is empty NOW. What'll you do if friends come over while you're saving?

It's very easy to fall into this self-inflicted trap. I and the wife continually do it in a seemingly never-ending cycle. Get nearly out of debt, get back into debt. It even seems like the 'Call of the Card' gets stronger, the closer to empty the cards get. After emptying various credit cards, you've triggered the Card Police to call you, offering various incentives and special rates to get you to back in. It's kind of like a drug dealer calling because he hasn't seen you in a while.

Ya Know It Could Be Like This, Just Like This Always

I've kind of resigned myself to living in some debt from now on. Since it doesn't seem to want to go away, I figure it's a matter of managing rather than eliminating the debt. Being at the point where all the cards are paid off each month doesn't really cost me any interest. It's that siren-song of "let's put this bill off a month" that keeps tempting me back into my deeper addiction.

Even cutting up the cards and closing accounts doesn't help, since that penalizes your credit record. With more companies using that credit record to determine job eligibility, insurance rates, and general trustworthiness, you're stuck with having to maintain a good record, even if you don't use credit.

I'm not independently wealthy like Dave Ramsey, so I can't really afford to let my credit rating go to zero. When it does go down, I pay for it in other ways. I guess it's better to just play the game enough to get by.

Truth Is, Sometimes I Miss You So Bad I Can Hardly Stand It

My goal now, is to deal with the addiction. Manage the debt, knowing that it will never fully leave. Even if I do pay off all the bills, the specter of my cards will haunt me, luring me back into the depths of credit card purgatory.

I'll walk around like a normal person, no different outwardly than the other people in the crowd without credit cards, but my dark little secret will still be there. Dealing with the problem, a day at a time.

How are you dealing with credit addiction? Drop us a line and let us know.

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