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Over at Plonkee Money is a great article entitled "Living on One Income - The Single Life". I thought a follow-up point of view would be a great counterpoint to this great article.
We have a single-income family with two kids, and only one breadwinner in the house. For our area of the country, that's slightly unusual, but not uncommon. There are lots of benefits to this type of arrangement.
- Stay at Home Parent - It seems that our school system lets out at the slightest hint of bad weather. Just today the kids got to stay at home. If both parents were working, this would be a major issue.
- Kids Differ in Age - My two Yuppie Larva have six years difference between them. This means that there are two different school departure times, and two different arrival times. Add to this, the oldest isn't quite old enough to take care of the youngest, so would put a strain on day-care/babysitting duties. I have other friends that have to jump through flaming hoops to get things scheduled.
- Happy Wife - Yes, I work, the wife gets to take care of the kids and house. She's said numerous times over the years that she prefers it this way vs. having to go back into the work force after being a stay-at-home mom for 11 years.
More Bills? No Problem!
Actually that's pretty much true. My income is enough to support us, and has been for a number of years. True, I make more than average, but we DO live in an average-sized house (no McMansions here!) and have pared our expenses down to the point that we could live comfortably on about half of what I make if need be. No car payments (cars paid off), decent but not too much mortgage payment ($1500/month) and slowly killing off the credit cards and debt while having enough to have a fulfilling life.
Per Plonkee "single income, single adult living isn’t really a choice,.." but married with kids is, so we have had to make decisions that take that into account. Frivolous spending was the FIRST TO GO. Once we got to the point where our lives were comfortable, but not extravagant, we stayed there.
Emergencies and Setbacks
It's not to say that life has been all beer and skittles, there's been setbacks and bad patches throughout our marriage. An example is the Repossessed Home and the time I was out of work for 9 months. The former was when we were young and financially stupid, the latter, after we smartened up.
The Bad Times - As the article above mentioned, we got into deep debt and couldn't keep our house. That was when we were all innocent about finances and didn't think that bad things could happen. We were so wrong. Like a set of dominos coming down, our finances started crumbling around us at a progressively accelerating pace. We finally bailed out and pulled the foreclosure ripcord. It's a lesson I've never forgotten.
The Good Times - Because of that lesson, things have been progressively better. Taking into account that S#!t Happens, we've always had contingency plans in place. That's why when the second big hit (my job loss of 2001 that lasted 9 months) it didn't affect our finances very much. We had savings, investments, and other sources of income to get us by until I found another position. Not to say it wasn't harrowing, but we weren't in the food pantry line this time.
Single Incomes, for either singles or married couples have to take a careful view of risk and emergencies. There is no guarantee that even with TWO people looking for work, that either of them will find jobs in a timely manner.
Missing the Two Income Trap
Because we've been comfortable with one income, we've gotten accustomed to the lifestyle of the upper-middle class. Of course we've been tempted to get the bigger house, or the nicer car, but thanks to our 'lesson' from years ago, we don't just jump into those kind of situations anymore. I think Sheryl Crow sums up our attitudes perfectly nowadays.
"It's not Getting What You Want, but Wanting What You've Got"
Sheryl Crow - "Soak up the Sun"
Are you happy where you're at, or are you 'Chasing the Joneses'?? Leave us a comment, we'd like to know.
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February 21st, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Excellent post! I am so glad that my husband is supportive of me being a stay at home mom. And my two kids are almost 5 years apart, so I totally get the schedule thing. Next year when Sam hits kindergarten will be the only year they're in the same school, and they won't even have the same schedule!
Lynnae @ Being Frugal.net's last blog post..What Are You Paying For?
February 21st, 2008 at 4:01 pm
For many people - especially in the white collar burbs- it's a status thing for the wife to stay home. That's all going to change soon as the income gap widens and prices rise (food prices rose 9% in January ALONE).
You're going to see upper middle income wives needing to go back to work.
Soon the only couples in America who won't need a working wife will only be high income families living in places like Westport, CT and Princeton, NJ. The poseurs will no longer be able to keep up appearances and will have to resemble the blue-collar working family.
February 21st, 2008 at 4:05 pm
I hope you're wrong, but I'm thinking more likely you're right on.
February 21st, 2008 at 4:35 pm
I'm a SAHM, as much out of necessity as preference since we have a disabled child.
We always joke that we took a vow of poverty when I quit work. Its been difficult financially, since the one income we have is not that great, but we would have it no other way. I know my kids, have been able to be there when they needed me, and our forced "poverty" has prevented us, if not from getting into debt, at least from committing ourselves to untenable expenses such as a larger home. We're just fine in our 850 sqft cottage! No "keeping up with the Jones" here.
February 21st, 2008 at 4:37 pm
This is a great post. I think you've hit the nail on the head about risk - once you're tied by a house to a specific location, it becomes that much more difficult to find a new job.
@cw:
I thought the idea that having the wife stay at home was a high status thing died out years ago. Amongst the people I know, it's a high status thing for the wife to earn more money. This is probably because I work with mostly men in a professional, but only moderately well paid environment, having high earning wives gives them a better life than they could afford otherwise.
plonkee's last blog post..living on one income - the single life
February 22nd, 2008 at 1:28 pm
plonkee -
Where I am (a county in NJ with one of the highest per capita household incomes in the U.S.), it's practically frowned-on if a women isn't driving around in a Land Rover or Mercedes minivan, drinking latte and chauffering her kids around, picking up dinner at the gourmet store and other errands while the husband is off at work. It is a status thing.
That's all going to change for a lot of these women as prices increase and their husbands' salaries don't keep pace.
February 22nd, 2008 at 2:08 pm
I'm hoping to be a stay-at-home mom in a couple of years. My husband and I are preparing for it by putting my income in savings and living off of his (putting some of his in savings, too).
I'm hoping that will prepare us for living on one income!
Becky@FamilyandFinances's last blog post..Favorite Blog Post 2/22/08
February 22nd, 2008 at 10:32 pm
@CW - Strangely enough around here it's the less wealthy women who stay home. We're well below the average income around here, and I'm a stay at home mom. My stay at home mom friends are at our income level. Those who are more well off are all working.
I honestly think most families can afford for wife to be a stay at home mom if she chooses. It's just a matter of whether they want to make the sacrifices necessary to do it. And there are a lot of sacrifices. I'm not saying it's right or wrong for mothers to work outside the home, but it is a matter of what you're willing to sacrifice.
Lynnae @ Being Frugal.net's last blog post..You Tell Me: Where do you find the deals?
March 5th, 2008 at 9:16 am
We are a one income family too- but I don't think we fall into either realm of being "poor" or "wealthy." This is where we have chosen to put our priorty- in having one parent home. There are many things we end up needing to do to conserve money- budgeting groceries, 2nd hand clothes, no big trips, no eating out, etc- but I think in the long run, we will be able to stick to our priorty-- which is being there for the 4 kids.
The saddest part is many friends, coworkers constantly ask when my partner will be going back to work- like thats the only measure of ones worth. With our kids ages (9, 5, 3, and 10 months)- its not going to be for a long time-- if at all. Some have likened our not taking them to places like DIsney World (we live in upstate NY) as tantamount to ruining their lives. We see what we give them as more realistic than chasing some guy in a mouse suit for pictures. We are teaching them to live within their means and to budget accordingly.